more or less sex.

things that are sad/obnoxious
1. dragging your boyfriend to see the sex and the city movie (he doesn't want to see it and this also means you have no friends. work on that)
2. dressing up to see the sex and the city movie (this is only acceptable if you're going to a real premiere. celebrities and paparazzi included)
2.a. further offenses include: dressing like a character from the show (this isn't rocky horror, people)
2.b. pretending you are a character from the show to the degree of delusional
3. complaining about how bad/good the movie actually was (well I'm guilty of that one)

Most of these thoughts stemmed from sitting next to the irritated gentlemen in the movie theater. He was obviously swindled into seeing the SATC movie with his girlfriend. He most likely even paid for the tickets. "I could be in this situation right now", I thought to myself. And I fell deeper in my head and trailed off...

A lot of times, out of loneliness and sheer insanity, I forget who I am. On these occasions, I wish I could change the past with ex-boyfriends. Like, maybe this time things will be different. Maybe this time, things will work out. I then furiously smack myself in the face just once and I'm back to normal.

Yes, I'm currently single and they're not. But in the same instance, I flourish with the idea that I'm not a carbon copy or a wannabe. I genuinely think it's nice that they are nice. But it's not the first adjective I would pick to describe myself. I am what the new girlfriends could never be; cheeky, colorful, and passionate to the point of wild. I like flaws, that's what makes people interesting and worthwhile. I cannot and will not be dumbed down to the PG-13 movie version of the R-rated book. So I'm not waiting around for Mr. Right. He's flawless. I'd rather take my chances alone and perhaps one day bump into someone worthwhile.

breaking up

I spent last night at a party in Brooklyn. I had a really fun and adventurous time, ending up nowhere near the starting point. My sober body somehow felt drunk by association and I was surrounded with the leftovers of a Bret Easton Ellis novel.

So I think I'm over New York. It's too comfortable and predictable. If we were dating, this would be the time in the relationship I would get bored and move onto someone new. With a nicer personality. And a better haircut.

Much of my newfound revelations have been validated in the past 24 hours. It's surreal to finally know who I am and who I want to be. It's even more remarkable how quickly things can change.

trip overview

I've been back from northern California for a couple of days now. My trip was nice and relaxing, with only a few moments filled with anxiety. I should win an award for getting lost...I am just that good at it. Most of my time was spent with an assortment of cats and quality sunny days There were kamakaze kites, healthy fast food, fun new people to meet, and incredible views.

It's hard not to fall in love with California. The landscapes are nearly perfect, it makes snow seem like blasphemy. I like the general positive, laid-back mentality. Every person seems fascinating. I forget how rigid and tense New York City makes me feel sometimes...lots of people rushing around, never really slowing down to feel alive.

I didn't go to Bay to Breakers. Seeing the leftover people in their costumes only made me slightly regretful. Well, there's always next year. Fortunately I had the option to see the new Indiana Jones movie and attend the luncheon afterwards (free drinks and movie sets). The movie for the most part was amazing. It's an easy movie to get lost in. Not much substance. I thought the sci-fi twists were too generic and didn't fit with the rest of franchise. On my last day I got a tour of LucasArts, a subsidiary of Lucasfilm Limited . There was a lot of memorabilia to "ooh" and "aah" at. I was a kid in a candy shop.

*I went to CA carrying along the theory that most single American men live on the west coast and most single American women live on the east coast. It turns out to be very true and that's all I'm divulging.

unexpected invitation

I got a call from my sister today. She invited me to come to San Francisco in a week, just in time to be a part of the Bay to Breakers marathon on May 18th. So I'm being spontaneous and going...well, if I can actually get through to the airline to redeem flight credit. Dealing with airlines makes me want to pull my hair out strand by individual strand.

The Bay to Breakers is a footrace about 7 1/2 miles long. It's more than a marathon, it's a big wild costume parade as well. There is this well known group of gentlemen, called BARE TO BREAKERS, that run the entire path completely naked (except for their footwear). I asked my sister how running naked through the streets was OK and she responded "well, it IS San Fransisco". Man, I miss the west coast.

My sister and her friends are dressing in their best 1980's day-glo, flashdance, MC Hammer parachute pants glory. I don't know what I'll be yet.


http://www.ingbaytobreakers.com/main.html
(Bay to Breakers official site)

week in music (april 6-13)

Stats

# of CD's purchased: 2

# of albums on heavy rotation: 8

# of concerts attended (this week): 2

# of concerts attended (this year): 9

This past weekend included two more amazing but noticeably different Nada Surf shows. In total, I have seen them four times this year. This might seem like an excessive amount of times to see one band but I am a true fan (a little bit of a groupie) and believer of quality music.

The first show occurred on Friday night at Terminal 5. "5" is a relatively new venue and is not my favorite place to go to. The place is gigantic: 3 levels, 2 balconies, and a stage large enough to fit Earth, Wind, and Fire respectively.

Nada Surf shared equal stage time with their old friends Superdrag (it was a flashback circa 1996) and all I can say was Superdrag was a super...drag. Majority of the songs sounded the same and very dated. To say the least, I was bored. Luckily, Nada Surf saved the day. They played a variety of old and new but they were all whimsical, slightly melancholy, and generally full of weight.

Sunday involved a road trip to Philadelphia to see Nada Surf play again at the Trocadero. Illinois played an opening set (they previously opened for Nada back in Feb). I am becoming a bigger fan of Illinois everyday. They have a heavy drum/bass line accompanied with a switch up between a banjo and keyboard clad lead singer. Their lyrics are smart and fun.

Nada Surf's set list was nearly identical to a couple nights prior but their energy was so much more intense. The great thing about their concerts is the fans' dedication and love. 90% of the crowd knows all of the words and aren't afraid to sing passionately. An example of this was cheering for the encore. I have never heard an audience cheer longer or louder than Sunday night's performance. I was absolutely one of them. Highlights included "Hyperspace", "Blizzard of '77", and "Blankest Year".

Nada Surf's April 12th (full performance) in Washington D.C. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89498679

week in music (march 9-15)

Stats
# of CD's purchased: 1
# of albums on heavy rotation: 4
# of concerts attended (this week): 1
# of concerts attended (this year): 7

Friday night went to see What Made Milwaukee Famous open for Louis XIV at Irving Plaza. Irving is absolutely my favorite city venue to go to; perfect in size, not too big , not at all cramped...just right. In addition, the coat check situation is decent compared to other venues. It doesn't take me an hour after the show is over to get my coat and leave. Moreover, they were giving out free fresh apples. How often does that happen? I indulged in two.

What Made Milwaukee Famous (aka Milwaukee or wmmf, if you like) were ridiculously good. Lead singer Michael Kingcaid's voice blew me away. Some song highlights include "Sultan", "Self-Destruct", and a better-than-the-real-thing cover of Billy Joel's "You May Be Right".

Louis XIV was unexpectedly good live. I just saw them in January opening with Hot Hot Heat for Editors and I saw them in 2005 opening for The Killers. Both times their vocals and sound system in general were somewhat lacking, but I'm a big fan and went with few expectations, just trying to have a dance-filled weekend night. They played all of my favorite songs, even some of the less known ballads like "All The Little Pieces".

In other music news, my computer has contracted a virus and it has spread to my beloved source of music, my ipod. The ipod is ailing and the last 7 years of music collecting is gone. I should have invested in more cds over stuffing my computers with mp3 after mp3. Oh well, lesson sadly learned. Back to square one.


http://youtube.com/watch?v=5YjhoTDnxp0
(What Made Milwaukee Famous video "Sultan")


photo courtesy of Cambria Harkey

twilight

The car in front of us hit a deer tonight. It fell to the side of the road, convulsed, and died. After witnessing this event, I spiraled into a mini anxiety attack. It was the first time the world broke through my reclusive bubble. This got me thinking about how everything in this universe is or isn't connected. I'm still unsure about my personal stance. It changes as often as the wind blows. I'd like to think that everything and everyone is connected through energy. But on the other hand, maybe our energy rests only in our own body and that we are unable to fully connect with another being. What matters? What should matter?

Poor deer. I ended up getting home and cooking a big juicy burger. My empathy obviously lasts a good 10 minutes.